Do you ever get it when something plainly doesn’t do for you what you thought it would. But you carry on and on hoping it will improve but it actually doesn’t and then you’re so far into a sticky situation the whole ‘leaving it behind choice’ becomes a whole lot more difficult?
A lot of people have dropped out of my course at college. It is a bit shit if I’m honest. Not always, no. But for the majority of the time we spend there, we get sod all done and what happens when you stick a heap load of performing arts students together? You get the bitchiest two years of your entire life. It can drive you a little nuts as the amount of bitching steadily increases throughout the two years. I’m not saying I’m being bitched about, even though it wouldn’t surprise me - It really wouldn’t bother me either - But bitchiness from other people about other people all day every day just gets on my tits. It’s all so petty and childish. I wish I was as organised as my other friend who left a while ago and is now in some London school and gets into auditions for pretty much everything and is just generally doing rather dandy at what he wants to be doing.
It’s difficult trying to understand whether your making any of the right choices when your trying to follow a path that’s as unclear as that of a performance artist. I don’t know 100% what I want to do, but I think that’s a good thing. Because, at the same time, I know I don’t just want to be doing one thing. I want to live! No but seriously, lately I feel like I’m totally wasting my time doing this course, from which lately I’ve been gaining nothing. It’s just been making me feel miserable, for a long time now too. I’m still a happy person, not much gets me down but I can sort of feel it eating away at me. And, I know I could be doing more. But my parents wouldn’t make any choices any easier. Whatever I do would be the wrong thing to do. I wouldn’t mind them having enough trust in me to let me just do what I think is right for myself.
But of late, I’ve sort of thunk to myself, I’m a little bit fed up of trying to please people all the time. Which is what I do too much of. Yeah, most of the time it goes ignored, but hey. I try not to say things to people, that really SHOULD be said, when in return they most certainly wouldn’t hold back. But there’s no winning. I’m probably gonna stick it out there for another year and fail terribly and then look back and think bollocks, I wasted all that time just getting fucked off at wasting all that time. Leaving might kick me up the arse. But I don’t think I’m brave enough to actually make such a big choice. But, at the end of the day, I suppose it’s gotta be what’s best for me. Take it all as it comes. Any advice?
Tags: acting, bitching, career, choice, college, miserable, parents, path, performing arts, stress
May 13, 2008 at 6:50 pm |
Well, if you want to leave, and then think you would of failed if you stayed, but if you leave and have a possible chance of passing then what would you feel like then? you gotta think to yourself about what is best for you
im not so good at this but if you try you probably wont fail.
crap words from a goon.
May 13, 2008 at 8:23 pm |
well i’m trying to get advice on the trying to please people thing myself… but about your course. i think you are good at acting… but if it’s not what you want to do, then don’t do it. and your parents SHOULD have more trust in you. you are old enough to make wise choices for yourself i think.
May 13, 2008 at 8:26 pm |
I’m always befuddled because British performance arts people are different then here in the US. Here, the only people who take drama are total geeks.
Salonlife gets there too. You put enough women who think they are the prettiest shit on the planet into one room and pump them full of hairspray fumes and sooner or later you’re going to get some drama, and plenty of it.
Sometimes you really just have to seperate yourself from it all. Take some time to pull yourself out of the entire situation and look at things objectively, as if you were listening to someone else’s story. What would you do then?
Think about the values and traits that are most important to you and start living by them. For me at work one of my biggest self values is “Respect for all” and I constantly live it. Sometimes girls come up and start gossiping and I will stop them midsentence with a “That’s not respect for all and I would appreciate it if you didn’t discuss that with me”. Good friends don’t need to bitch about things, good friends bring you up.
At work I do everything to make sure that my team is loving their day, and I think a good friend would want you to feel good about yours too.
You need to set goals for yourself and then determine what the best path to achieving those would be. Do you need this class? Is there a better class available to you? Is this a problem you could discuss with anybody to resolve?
In the end Roo, only you now how to solve your own problems. It just might take you some time to figure out the answers. You’re a very smart, funny, talented, and sexy young guy and you have the whole world waiting on your door step. Good luck =)
May 13, 2008 at 9:30 pm |
don’t leave me captain….:(
May 14, 2008 at 8:27 pm |
well if im honest with u, i understand where u and many other people are cumin from but, in reality what wud u be doin ryte now, cz u cant get anywere without being 18+, nd most successful unis or stage schools look for points in which u recieve from this course and think that what u shud c these 2 yrs as is an inbetween thing which will eventually lead to sumthing worth the wait. nd not to get ur expectations for this course too high as it gna b at a semi perfessional standard. but tbh its up to u but it would b really upsetting if u did leave us cz ur wiked at what u do and i love you hahaha
up to u me friend hehe
xox